Time to eat AGAIN?

It’s 10:30am and I can’t even look at food.

I just started working with a new trainer and I’m determined to gain some muscle.  I am always complaining about not being strong enough, and not having enough gains, while at the same time doing the things that I know won’t get me there.

I have had countless trainers and friends tell me I don’t eat enough, and that when I run/lift/crossfit like a crazy woman without enough fuel in me, my body is using my muscle for fuel.   It’s looking for energy, and it can’t find any, so it eats the very part of me I’m trying to grow.  Blast.

I know this, but I also love training.  And I hate eating.  Ha. I never wake up hungry.   By lunch time, I’m often still not hungry and will nibble on a salad.  I might get the urge for a snack around 3.  Then I work out.  Fueled by… pretty much nothing.  And then I eat something for dinner around 7:30.

On Monday I got an RMR test done to see what’s going on with my metabolism.  Everyone always assumes I have a fast metabolism because I’m lean, but knowing my eating habits I suspected that was not the case.  I was right, but it was worse than I thought.  My resting metabolic rate, the calories I burn daily while just at rest, is 1120.  That’s not much, y’all.

So my new trainer is putting me on a plan to reverse the damage, which means tracking calories again, which I haven’t done in forever.  I set out yesterday with a plan to eat more, and aim for around 1500-1800 calories.  No problem, I thought.  I’ve done this before.  In fact, when I track my calories for cutting before shows, I am at about 1400-1500/day.  So I figured this would be no problem.

I ate breakfast, a snack, lunch, a snack and then went home from work and crashed on the couch.  I was so full from the day I couldn’t imagine eating more.  I entered my foods online to see where I was… 950.

950 and I was full and bloated and felt like I’d been eating all dang day.  So clearly my metabolism is jacked.

I ate my dinner anyway and a snack before bed, getting me to 1590.  Ugh.  So.  Full.

This morning I ate breakfast and just had my snack.  And I would be happy not to eat again all day.  But, it’s day two of German Volume Training, so I will be squatting a bunch tonight, and I need to follow orders.

“We’re going to treat you like an old school bodybuilder,” new trainer says.  “You need to lift heavy, and you need to eat, and skip cardio for now.”

It’s like he’s trying to get me not to like him. 🙂

But for once I’m going to listen and see where it gets me.  Eat, lift, eat. Don’t run. And maybe I’ll grow.

This new plan does at least allow for more pool time.


As long as I don’t swim any laps.




Bikini Competition Results

Well, Saturday came and went and I don’t have any trophies to show for it.   Here’s how my day panned out:

I got up super early, curled my hair, and put on my fourth and final layer of tanning product.  I got to the facility on time and listened to the instructions, then got backstage where all the girls piled into one small room to get ready.

IMG_20131012_102546Warning: Super Tan Girl is in the building.

I talked to the other girls and of course, subtly looked them over.  I couldn’t help but size up the competition!  I thought I was faring pretty well, considering how much I leaned out for this show.  I felt like I wouldn’t be #1, but I had a good chance of place top five.

Then my group was called on stage.   The way it works is the entire class walks out, and poses in a straight line.   Then the judges have everyone pose to the front, and to the back, then back to the front again.   Then everyone gets called one by one to do their “T” walks.  Back to the one line… and we pose to the front and back again.  Then they will often move girls around.

Here’s how that works… if two girls are looking similar and the judges can’t tell which one to place above the other, they’ll have girls switch places so the two they need to compare are side by side.   It was as this point they moved me from the middle of the line, alllll the way to the far left side.

This is when it became clear to me I was not going to place.

I smiled and posed anyway, because I’m a professional bikini competitor.




2013101295101134The girl next to me placed fifth, and the one next to her fourth, and the one next to her, first.

They were clearly choosing girls with more muscle, and just a larger frame/shape in general.   As soon as they started moving girls around I was disappointed, but not crushed.

As usual, I liked how I looked.   If I were judging, I would have put myself in the top five.   I guess I could try to eat like a horse and pack on some pounds and do this again, but really…. I don’t want to.   I want to look how I look.

I knew this the last time I competed, and just to see what happened I wanted to really make an effort to come in super lean this time, and see if the judges would reward the small but very lean girl, but since that didn’t happen, I think I need to move on.

I’m not bitter.  I’m just sort of shrugging it off and saying, “Oh well… not for me.”

Is there another organization where I would place better?  I don’t know.   I’m not in the mood to research it for now, so I think I’ll just enjoy my mocha frappes and my guitar practices and my once-a-day trips to the gym and see what happens.

Oh, right …so…rest of the day…

In the afternoon two of my friends came over and one brought me flowers.


Then they and a third friend attended the night show and cheered for me.  I had already warned them that I would not place and I would be okay with that.

I was right… no call outs for me.



This is the winner.  She took my class and another one – she crossed over and did novice and open.

Afterwards we took a few more pics – here you see my friends showing how impressed they are with my abs. 🙂

IMG955979and then I put a cheeseburger and fries in there ….mmmm..mmmmm.

Yesterday I decided to go ahead and check the official standings online.  At the show, you only know if you made top five… you don’t see the rest of the order.  I looked for my name…scanned the list….and…

Y’all, not only did I not place top five, I came in dead last.

I couldn’t help but laugh.  Instead of having me move to the far end of the line, the judges should have turned up the mic and said, “Excuse me, could competitor #15 move to the far left, little more….little more…. just behind the curtain…YES!  THERE.  Please leave the stage entirely.  In fact, please go to the cashier and she will refund your money.   Don’t come here ever again.  Thanks.”

What I’m saying is… they hated my look.  Hated!  Ha.

But I like it.   So there.

And I know just how to celebrate that.

Extra whipped cream please.







Peak Week

….Also known as “The Week Where I Forget a Lot of Stuff, Let My House Get Really Messy, Drink a Lot of Water, and Get Ridiculously Tan” – but peak week is shorter, so let’s go with that.

This is the week where I finally see what the final “package” is going to be.  This is when I drop the heavy weights, pick up a little cardio, drink a ton of water and make sure I get rid of it by Saturday.

On Monday, I increased my water intake.  Two gallons.  I carried this little monster around all day.


I got in some lifting with my Crossfit friends at noon.  My strength wasn’t great, but I modified the weight and was able to do the whole workout.

After work I got to the gym for my cardio, but they were doing something to the parking lot and workers told me to go around to the back.  No one else was there and it’s in a shopping mall and I get off work at 11pm, so I looked around and decided I didn’t want to use their machines that badly.

I went home and ran some “deadmill” sprints.  (Those are sprints where you don’t turn the treadmill on, so you are using your legs to force the surface to move.)

On Tuesday I felt really tired so I slept in and skipped Crossfit. After work I got to the “big” gym before it closed.  I grabbed a stairmaster and got in 25 minutes before they were turning the lights out.   Oh, and I drank about 1.5 gallons of water throughout the day.

I also spent a lot of time here.


I wish I could have just napped in a corner of the gym, because I was back on the same stairmaster this morning for 40 minutes.  This will probably be my last workout before the competition.

While I climbed the stairs to no where, I watched as a trainer was knocking out a session with a woman who appeared to be a new client.  She taught the newbie how to do a thruster and how to use the assisted pull up machine, and then I heard her say, “You are going to do 21 thrusters, then 21 pull ups, then 15/15 then 9/9.”

Fran.  This woman had to do Fran.

It’s a Crossfit workout and it stinks.  Of course the trainer had her client using two ten pound weights instead of the 65 pound bar we use, and she was doing assisted pull ups, but still… I felt her pain.

I wanted to get off the stairmaster and give her a high five when she finished, but she probably would have been like, “Ok, very strangely enthusiastic gym member…” – so I didn’t.

Still, way to go random woman at the gym.

Today I came into work early… (good time for my boss to resign, don’t you think? Yeah, me too.) so I will be leaving before 11pm, but probably won’t do much.  I’m pretty tired, and I’m ready for carbs.

Tonight I might have half a sweet potato with my chicken or fish.  The golden rule during peak week is not to try anything you haven’t tried before.



(Wearing tall polka dot high socks with competition heels would probably fall within that guideline, but mostly they’re talking about food.)

So tomorrow is more chicken, and maybe a little brown rice.

Friday, pose pose pose and take my drug test.



(Apologies for the messy bathroom – Mom, is the Good Fairy available?)

Yes, there’s a drug test.  Sometimes it’s urine and sometimes it’s a polygraph.  Last time he didn’t even hook me up.   “I can take one look at you and see you’re not on anything.” Thanks polygraph guy.

Then of course the tan.

I’m exfoliating all week, and on Friday, I’ll shave and be sure NOT to put on any lotion or deodorant.  (If you do, some chemical in the tanner mixed with something in the deodorant will turn your armpits green.)

That’s right, all those people on stage sweating and posing haven’t showered off their tanner, or applied any Lady Speed Stick.

It’s okay, we work out a lot so we are used to mouth breathing.

I’ll layer on three layers of Pro Tan on Friday night and be ready to go, bright and early Saturday morning.

I’ll need to set two alarms.

But I’ll be ready.


(Max is trying his best to look serious, but he’s actually super excited for me.)


Bikini Comp Registration

No turning back!  I’ve filled out my form and sent it in, so I will be competing on October 12th.   This show is local, so I can get tan and sticky in the comfort of my own home.   Here’s how things are progressing 3.5 weeks out.  (Yikes!)

IMG_20130926_105221I still do my ab check every morning.  Apparently I wear my green cowgirl shirt to bed a lot.  But in looking at the previous picture, I do think they’re showing up a bit more.  Progress!

IMG_20130923_131428I finished first in a Crossfit workout!  That has only happened once before.  This time I beat about ten people to finish in a rope climb/box jump/push up/pull up/kb swing/burpee workout and I was so happy.  And sweaty.  But happy.

IMG_20130924_161044Sometimes I take pictures of my quads while I’m doing leg extensions because that makes them look big!  As you can see in the pic above, they’re not that big.

IMG_20130920_082520I got asked to do a photo shoot with a cowgirl and fitness theme.  (There was a costume change.)  I had fun and some of the shots came out pretty well.  When the photographer sends them I will post a few.

I guess that’s about it.  There’s been a lot of protein-eating and gym-going and water-drinking and not a whole lot else.  I know people think that’s boring but I’m ready to bring it and be proud of the accomplishment…. and if I get a trophy, even better.

Hey!  Can you read backwards?

IMG_20130926_130843Just slightly.  🙂   But in a fit kind of way.






Abs and Fast Runners

I’ve been trucking along on my competition prep… and I can’t believe I’m four weeks out already!   Guess I’d better register.  (Making a note on my lengthy to-do list….)

Yesterday I spotted these fast runners (what my sister used to call them when she was little) and couldn’t resist.  I love bright tennis shoes!  These are by Reebok and Reebok sponsors crossfit so of course I had to throw money at them and run off with new shoes.



I haven’t worn them yet because I’m doing a fitness photo shoot tomorrow and I don’t want to scuff them up before then.   After that, they’re gonna get scuffed and sweaty.  Yay!  and, gross!!

I have been adding in a little cardio at night… usually going to crossfit at noon and then my “other” gym after work for 20-30 minutes.  I still need more muscle, but what the heck, the lean out is going okay and maybe those other girls won’t have this:


Do you think they’ll let me lie down on the stage for my poses?  No?  Too weird?  Okay.

Four more weeks!


The Good That I Would, I Do Not

… but the evil which I would not, that I do.

Any Romans fans out there?  Okay, yeah, kind of an odd title for a fitness update post, but bear with me.

I’ve always liked this verse – I think I just liked the way it sounded way back when I memorized it for Bible Quiz Team.  It should sound familiar to about 3 of my readers who also memorized that book way back in the day.  (Question, question number 4 for 20 points.  Quotation question.  Quote Romans 7:19.)

(Now, you should have buzzed in after “seven” and hope they’d bleed through and give you the 19.  If you didn’t, you got beat out by the sloooow talking quizzers from Shreveport, Louisiana.   Remember how it seemed like they would never get the answer out in 30 seconds??  But somehow they did??? Better luck next time.)

Alright, enough of that very enjoyable trip down memory lane.  I loved, loved, loved bible quiz and wish I would get the option now to give three minute contests in my daily work life, and then make three of my coworkers vote heads up to accept my contest and tails to deny it.  Ahhhhh…. okay, okay, enough on quizzing.  Maybe I should do a full post on that.  Sure seems like I have enough to say.

Back to competing, and the reason I selected that verse for my title.   I have been doing really well in my training and I’m leaning out just a bit which is promising.  Since I began working out a few years ago, I have really enjoyed it and rarely struggle with going to the gym and getting in my training.   The diet however….

I thought I was doing well on the diet too, until two weeks ago when I decided to use my app for tracking calories and I happily entered my food intake day by day.  I was shocked at the results.  For three days in a row I didn’t make it to 1,000 calories.   And I wasn’t hungry… in fact, I felt like I had been eating a lot!

Now, before you get concerned, I do not have an eating disorder.  I don’t think I’m fat.  I would never dream of binge eating or purging; both of those gross me out.   It’s not that I am eating under my goal on purpose.

It’s that I’m lazy.

I don’t feel the same way about food as a lot of people – it’s just not a big deal to me.  I don’t wake up hungry.  I’m hardly ever hungry actually.  I eat because I have to and it’s time to, not because I crave something or really feel hunger.   I do crave things like pizza and fries, but when they aren’t on my plan, then I could care less about food.  I have my meals when it’s time to do so, but it’s more of a hassle than anything else.  I realize this makes me weird, but it’s just how I feel.

The only way I can get the right kind of calories in is to 1) make three of my meals protein shakes and 2) plan the rest of them in advance.  That’s where the lazy part comes in.  I will sometimes cook chicken and pack it, but more often than not I don’t cook anything and then find myself stuck for a healthy option.  I either go get a fast food salad, or eat a protein bar and go about my business.

Yeah, that’s how one can find themselves wrapping up a day with 750 calories.

Now that I’m aware of it, I did the smart thing and bought some chicken, eggs (yuck), veggies, greek yogurt and a few other items to keep my macros where they should be.  I’ve felt better this week, and even woke up with my stomach growling yesterday.  (What is that noise?!?!  That never happens.)   I know it’s horrible for my metabolism to under eat, and I will always see more results when I get my act together and actually fuel my body.  Duh.

So here’s my latest progress shot post-workout the other day.  Gym locker rooms make great studios, don’t you think?


And from Sunday, just in case you thought I gave up making out with horses…. not a chance.



Happy eating this week!  Have a slice of pizza for me, won’t you?




Next Bikini Competition

I will not be competing at the end of this month.

I gave myself a deadline to decide, which coincidentally (ha) coincided with the deadline to register at the reduced rate.  The week leading up to the deadline, I thought about it, posed, and thought about it some more.

When I took a video of my walk in my posing suit, and compared it to a video from one week before my last comp last year, it was pretty clear.

I wasn’t ready.

I would rather wait another six weeks and feel really ready, then hit the stage now and be insecure.

I feel good about the decision and I’m looking ahead to a contest in early October.

On Sunday I did my usual flip-and-roll-the-round-bale workout, and as much as it pains me to admit, I wasn’t able to get it all the way up to the pasture by myself.

Believe me, I tried.  If someone were watching I’m sure they would have gotten a kick out of seeing me grunt and push… re-position and push…. put my booty into it and push…. sigh…. ugh….

“Hey, Taylor!”


Taylor was kind enough to put her photo shoot with Noodle on hold to come help me.

Sometime in the middle of all that pushing and flipping, I must have woken up a spider and he must have been a little angry about it.   I got bit on the arm, neck and hand.

The bite on my arm puffed up a bit.  Now, if he’d only given me a matching bite on the other side, I might look like I have some biceps.


Venom-fueled gun show.

Since that’s already going down, I have to make the most out of the muscle I’ve gained over the past year, and hope that when I lean this body out, the judges can see a difference.

I’m determined to be lean, mean, and better than ever.

And not quite this sweaty.